(Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)
This is a continuation of this post which discusses trancing to files.
Trancing with a Hypnotist, whether online or in real life is often a whole additional skill set to trancing with files. This isn’t due to one’s inherent superiority over the other, far from it in fact. It mostly has to do with the fact that working with a tist directly adds the unpredictable variable of another human being. One with their own desires, wants and techniques. Files provide a consistent, high quality product that the subject can interact with as they please. They are reliable and excellent for programming. When trancing to a file if a subject has a poor experience they can simply chalk it up to not liking the creator’s style or simply being “unable” to trance to files (an excuse that I hear and then usually prove wrong with a couple links to my youtube channel). But the moment a tist is introduced into the mix; the supposed pinnacle of trance experiences, and a subject still finds themselves unable to go under, it usually results in two equally negative thoughts that can colour their understanding of trance forever.
Either 1) Something is wrong with this hypnotist.
Or 2) Something is wrong with me.
The first leads to resentment and blame, while the latter leads to doubt and anxiety. Both of which can block future trance experiences.
So here I shall provide a small set of tips to making the most out of your time with a tist and to hopefully impart some best practices for approaching direct hypnosis.
A hypnotic relationship is exactly that, a relationship. The best trance you can have with a tist comes after you’ve established a bond with them. Get to know them, even just a little bit. In doing so you develop one of the most important things that you need in trance; trust. Far too many subjects approach tists with an unfortunate transactional nature that prevents proper bonds from being formed within the hypnosis community. Failing to see tists as people and individuals. Never taking the time to know them. I’ve lost count of the amount of subjects who have barged into my inbox with some variation on “Are you a hypnotist?? Trance me.” Now I’m sure that there are some Hypnotists who enjoy that kind of thing. No strings, very shallow…i’ve never met any but statistically speaking there must be. But the majority deep down probably aren’t fans. Imagine if a random person on the street just randomly approached you with an offer of sex. Under other circumstances you might be tempted, but you don’t know that person so you’re repelled instantly.
However everyone likes getting to know people, coming to understand them. I’m not kidding when I say that the only subjects I ever work with personally are those that I’ve grown to be genuine good friends with. In addition to building trust and just generally being a good and decent thing to do, establishing that relationship and getting to know your hypnotists can allow them to do a much better job at trancing you. Through bonding they learn about you, your personality, your psychology and can therefore more effectively make changes to it through trance. But it’s not only good for a tist. The supply and Demand ratio of Subs to tists is so skewed that a lot of times sub-standard and abusive tists can get away with anything simply because the demand for tists is high enough. By getting to know and vet your hypnotists beforehand you have a better chance of weeding out those tists who don’t match your standards. And in doing so you make the community a safer place by slowly pushing out those who don’t hold themselves to high ethical standards. So the next time you want to work with a hypnotist, consider asking them about themselves first, trying to forge those bonds before begging for trance.
Communication is Key. I will never stop stressing this fact. Clear, regular communication between you and your tist is important at all steps of the process. At the outset, especially with a newly fostered hypno relationship, you need to be specific with the things you like, the things you don’t. Your expectations and limitations for trance and your own emotional state. And no, saying you “Like brainwashing” and that you want to “go deep” isn’t enough. A lot of tists need direction, at least a little bit to get started and give you a good experience. Furthermore, a lot of tists really enjoy feedback in trance. Little moans and twitches, repeating back what they say to them to make sure they know you haven’t fallen asleep. If there is one place where you don’t have to be restrained or afraid to speak up, it’s in trance. So put on a little show, be verbal or in the case of text hypno simply go along with the fantasy. You’d be surprised how effective playing along can be at getting you deeper than you’ve ever gone before.
And finally, communicate once trance has ended. Give feedback. Praise your tist and stroke their ego if it was a good experience, or give constructive criticism about what you didn’t enjoy if that was the case(some tists do have difficulty taking this however). Don’t be shy to share your feelings with your tist and most certainly don’t lie, but at the same time bear in mind that you are talking to another human being, and be kind and gentle. By communicating clearly and consistently you give your tist more to work with, and you increase the likelihood of having a 2nd session. However, trying to put your experience into words can be difficult for some people, but ultimately I believe it’s beneficial and it helps you understand how trance works for you to talk through it. Remember, don’t force anything and take your time. It’ll come to you eventually. Once again. Communication is Key. Never forget that.
Working directly with another person can be so daunting with anxieties streaming in from so many sources. “What if I’m a bad subject?” “What if the tist is abusive?” “What if they want to see me and I’m not comfortable with my body?” What if, what if, what if. These concerns and anxieties can infect your mind and prevent you from having an enjoyable trance, which is a shame for something that is at its root meant to be a pleasurable, therapeutic experience. There are a number of reasons why this anxiety and concern is so prevalent about trance but I will posit one that I think isn’t discussed often enough. In the hypnosis community there is an automatic perceived power dynamic between the subject and the hypnotist. It’s presumed that the tist is dominant and holds all the power and that the subject is merely a passive, submissive pawn that the experience “happens to” which can make a subject feel uncomfortable if they didn’t sign up for that kind of power imbalance. But while this is certainly a relationship type that does exist in the community (however it isn’t one I’m a massive fan of, personally), I discourage subjects and tists alike from assuming it as the default. The subject is as much an active participant in trance as the hypnotist and they hold power as well. This is sometimes skewed by that Supply/Demand imbalance I talked about earlier. When there are a hundred subjects for every tist one inherently gains more leverage than the other. But at the core of it, Trance is a partnership and if you bear in mind the Bond, Trust and communication I discussed previously then your anxiety over that power dynamic will be reduced, I guarantee it.
In my experience, while there are certainly a lot of sub-par and abusive hypnotists out there, a subject’s true worst enemy is usually themselves. Self-sabotage is the number one reason hypnosis fails to work, both for files and with tists. Trance and Hypnosis are a purely mental experience. It’s all in your head. That doesn’t mean it’s somehow less real, our entire reality is constructed in our head from sense impressions. Everything exists in your mentality. But it does mean that Hypnosis and your experience of it is deeply impacted by your mindset. And unfortunately I cannot count how many subjects have come to me with awful, awful mindsets.
The most common refrain I’ve heard is this excuse that “I’m just a bad subject” “Oh Trance doesn’t work on me” “Files don’t work for me” And it hurts me every time because Yeah, of course it doesn’t with a mindset like that. Maintaining and holding on to those delusions only ever results in a self fulfilling prophecy. Even if you want it, if you either tell yourself consciously or subconsciously that you’ll never get it then you’ve lost the fight before it even started.
These thoughts and barriers usually form as a protective mechanism; an excuse. Subjects will have a few suboptimal sessions, or they don’t know what trance feels like and therefore can’t gauge whether they have gone under or not. And instead of analyzing the things that might have occurred to prevent trance, they jump to a form of fatalism. They craft the excuse that it is an innate quality of themselves that they can’t trance, and in doing so they make it true. You can’t trance because you think you can’t trance.
The first and most important step before approaching hypnosis is to form an open, free, and unresisting mindset. To throw away those preconceptions of inability and simply let it happen to you.
I hope this little tirade has given folks some insight on how to trance more effectively with other people. A lot of it might seem obvious to some, but sometimes the best answers are the simplest ones.